So... I guess a small introduction is due here.

I am a female college student with two budgies, a light blue colored bird, who I believe is a male, who's been with me over a year, and another yellow-green assumed female bird that's been with me for several months now. Both birds were purchased at a pet store, which.. I assume may in part be a reason for my troubles.

I had the blue one alone for a long time, and as I'm busy with college and often fatigued, I found I did not spend a lot of time bonding with the bird, and could not get him to open up to me beyond taking millets out of my hand. I became worried he may be lonely, so I brought home a second bird, hoping that they could keep each other company while I was away, or at home but unable to hang around.

I feel as though I must be doing something horribly wrong, as the male seems to hate me with a passion..

While he will take millets from my hand, if I am without millets, he growls and bites me quite hard. He's actually learned himself that nipping doesn't hurt me much, so he bites down and twists his head in an attempt to puncture my skin.

I try not to touch him often, as I worry I may stress him out if I tried, and I worry he might get aggressive towards the female, which he occasionally does...

but still I do once every couple of months take him out to trim his nails, when I notice they've gotten too long...
And it's a war each time, that ends with one very upset bird and several bloody fingers.

And every time afterwards, I find myself emotionally falling apart, and wondering if I should just give up and return the birds, as I seem to be an incompetent owner, incapable of taking well enough care of them.

But I really, really don't want to, I love my two little feathery friends.


I'm really running out of ideas, I've sat in front of their cage talking to them, singing to them, playing games while they watched, let them watch videos on my laptop, left my hand inside the cage day after day until my arm ached, in hopes that he would learn I'm not his enemy, but that seems to be the set idea in his mind.

Should I just, never have touched them against their will, even if their nails grew too long? Is there more I can try, or is it just, time to give up? Am I doing things just horribly wrong? Can I ever just get my bird to not detest me...?

I don't know what to do..

Welcome! It's great to have you.

Birds go through stages just like people do. It could be he's now in his wanting-to-breed stage and you are an intruder into his relationship. He wants to drive you away. They call birds having a "pecking order" for a reason. He's showing you who is boss.

I would give everyone time to get used to each other. Just hang out with them as you are. Keep showing them that you're a part of the flock. But pairs do bond and it can very well be that they will bond with each other, as birds do.

If anything, I'd be more concerned about having a male and female together without being ready for breeding. Birds do do what birds are meant to do, and in this case it means have sex and make babies. So I'd start studying up on that!