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goodbye #378588 08/05/09 01:17 AM
A
Aminah (helwa)
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Aminah (helwa)
Unregistered
A
hello everyone

it is with great sadness that I say good bye to you all.

It has been brought to my attention that many of the members of this form have been complaining about me and my posts, even though I am not posting much at all.

I have been informed that I am rude, disrespectful, aggressive and that I bully people.

I feel that i have been insulted, defamed, degraded, and my professional ethics and criteria have been put to question.

I know many here have been campaigning to have me removed from this forum, well today your wish has come true.

Congratulations!!!


I need some time away from this forum, away from the endless drama and fake chivalry. I might come back after a very long break, I have not decided that yet. If I do it will be sparse to say the least.


Please feel free to contact me, but do not tell me about posts or drama on the forum, I do not want to hear it or be a part of it.


Peace
Aminah (helwa)

Re: goodbye [Re: ] #378589 08/05/09 01:22 AM
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Ant
Unregistered
Ant
Unregistered
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Well, the forum just now lost a very knowledgeable person, but it was only a matter of time, how much bashing could a person take..

Re: goodbye [Re: ] #378592 08/05/09 01:40 AM
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,001
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animalfriend Offline
Best Friend
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Best Friend
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,001
I would like to take this moment to say that I haven't gotten involved in the recent fights, but I think that Helwa did a pretty darn good job of keeping cool under a lot of heat.

Helwa will be the first to agree that she can go overboard, but this is not the case lately. I am saddened that passion for animals has led to so much anger from other members. I have always held the opinion that if someone gets defensive about something, they probably are doing so because they realize they are doing something wrong and feel bad about it.

I have re-read the last fight thread over and over and I can not come to any logical conclusion as to how Helwa is the one getting in trouble here. I really do think that there needs to be a little more review of the thread to get another look at where and when things went wrong with it. I am certainly not going to name names, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out who we should actually be talking about here.

There have been times that I have felt ashamed because I read something that Helwa or other seasoned owners post and realize that there are ways I could improve the life of my birds or realize that I am doing something way wrong. But my answer is not to report the post because it made me feel ashamed!! My answer is to try a little harder to do what is right by my birds. We need to wake up here a little bit and stop getting so worked up about little things. It is not wrong to stress something that is proven to be correct.

I think that if someone were to post something about human medical care I would be all over it even if what I had to say might offend someone. I am having to correct people every day in the clinic whether it be about smoking or telling someone that they need to lose weight for their health. It doesn't make them happy, but it needs to be done sometimes.

I suppose what I have to say isn't going to matter in this case. There are obviously people who are getting upset about the wrong things and whoever you are I completely 100% disagree with you on this. When we are dealing with the lives of living creatures there is no room for error.

Re: goodbye [Re: animalfriend] #378613 08/05/09 02:27 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 788
Kirby&Yoshi Offline
Long Time Friend
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 788
This is a loss for the forum and if people were smart they would see this also. I have read many of the forum disagreements and the only reason you are being attacked is because you tell people how it is. You don't sit there and feel sorry for them, you actually try to help. People disgust me, and im sorry to see you go

Re: goodbye [Re: Kirby&Yoshi] #378625 08/05/09 03:04 AM
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Pudgie's mom
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Pudgie's mom
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Originally Posted By: animalfriend
...There have been times that I have felt ashamed because I read something that Helwa or other seasoned owners post and realize that there are ways I could improve the life of my birds or realize that I am doing something way wrong. But my answer is not to report the post because it made me feel ashamed!!
Well-said and ditto.
Originally Posted By: Kirby&Yoshi
This is a loss for the forum and if people were smart they would see this also. I have read many of the forum disagreements and the only reason you are being attacked is because you tell people how it is. You don't sit there and feel sorry for them, you actually try to help.
Ditto.

I think that an ugly little group in essence "killed the messenger" -- they didn't want to do what they knew was right, so they passive-aggressively whined to PDM and Lisa.

That controversial thread was going along just fine, and in fact I remember being impressed with how we were all handling a delicate issue & my own opinion had even shifted a bit, and then -- the usual -- someone who clearly "has issues" (as they say) pops in to slam Helwa, and off we go...

This has been a pattern for so many months, and it's just plain wrong to let it go on so long and then have Helwa bear the brunt of immature people.

I am immensely saddened and disgusted.

Re: goodbye [Re: ] #378639 08/05/09 04:07 AM
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 21
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Gueralita Offline
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 21
I am just a new member and not yet part of this community, but I have read some of your posts (and the whole thread about vets) and I am sad that you are leaving because as a possible new keet owner you would have been someone I'd really trust to give me good advice.
I hope to see you back on here.




Re: goodbye [Re: ] #378640 08/05/09 04:32 AM
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,161
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baby blue Offline
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Posts: 2,161
i want to express my disappointment that a grown group of intelligent people could not get it together enough to keep a good forum from turning into a childish catfight. WE ALL WERE TO READ THE RULES REGARDING BEHAVIOR ON THE FORUM AND WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE AGREED WITH THEM BEFORE POSTING ON HERE. R U L E S THAT APPLIED TO ALL OF US.
what shames me the most, is during this unnecessary spitting and clawing, there was a person on here, admitting to being young, inexperienced and unsure, who was asking for advice, help and guidance to determine if they were making the right idea about getting a pet. aren't all of these things the reasons that the forum was created and we are all here in the first place?
it makes me ashamed and embarrassed to admit that, i never got to that thread because i was too involved in the case of "i said, you said" if i were that young person, i don't believe i would want to be a member of this forum, and i certainly wouldn't blame them


baby blue
Re: goodbye [Re: ] #378658 08/05/09 09:54 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,790
PDM Offline
True Blue Soulmate
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 22,790
Originally Posted By: Aminah (helwa)
hello everyone

it is with great sadness that I say good bye to you all.

It has been brought to my attention that many of the members of this form have been complaining about me and my posts, even though I am not posting much at all.

I have been informed that I am rude, disrespectful, aggressive and that I bully people.

I feel that i have been insulted, defamed, degraded, and my professional ethics and criteria have been put to question ............


Peace
Aminah (helwa)


I am sorry that Aminah feels that she has to leave.

It is true that I have received complaints about aggressive posts. It is also true that I have been advised that, if aggression is perceived as cyber bullying, then it could cause problems for the site. I have not accused Aminah of bullying.

I am also sorry that Aminah feels that she has been 'insulted, defamed, degraded'. And I am sorry if other people also feel that they have been insulted, etc. That is why I try to enforce the rules against such behaviour.

Few of us know, for sure, who anyone on this forum is, so, if people state that they are vets, or nurses, etc, members may question it. I think that this is perfectly reasonable and understandable. For my part, I have said that I have no doubt that Aminah has animal welfare at heart and that she is a vetinary technician. I certainly haven't called her professional ethics and criteria into question.

I do feel that the tact & diplomacy, necessarily used in a vetinary office towards clients who may not always 'do the right thing' by their pets, might also be the best way to deal with fellow forum members, who may not be behaving as some of us would hope that pet-owners would behave.

Last edited by PDM; 08/05/09 09:57 AM.

"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.
Re: goodbye [Re: PDM] #378673 08/05/09 01:52 PM
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 7,692
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kksuns Offline
Platinum Star Soulmate
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 7,692
Helwa,
I for one am truly sorry you feel you have to leave.You are such a huge asset to this forum. I can't tell you how many times I've seen someone ask a question and the reply is IDK..Helwa where a ARE you!? You are very knowledgeable and educated when it comes to our birds. You give excellent advice and always try to help when you can. I will admit that sometimes I have felt that you come on a bit too strong, but ya know, that's only because you are so passionate about the well being of animals.It's who you are, and you shouldn't have to change for anyone. The way I see it, if people don't like it, they don't have to continue to go to that particular thread.
On the other hand no matter how solid the advice is, we have to understand that we can't force someone to take that advice.All we can do is offer it and if they don't take it then we can argue and talk til we're blue in the face and it's not going to do a bit of good.In the end it is their choice.
I'm going to miss seeing you here and I'm going to miss hearing about the crazy antics of that wonderful flock of yours.And I think if you leave everyone is going to miss out.




Re: goodbye [Re: kksuns] #378680 08/05/09 02:58 PM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 534
Puds Offline
Long Time Friend
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Long Time Friend
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 534
Now i think i know the posts in question. I was pretty nasty to that kid too. I could not believe the xxxx coming out of their mouth. It was hurtful!
But why is it her that gets in trouble?

She stands up for animal rights, and for human rights. but gets her butt smacked in the process? Where some "holier then thou pet owner" comes away from what i have seen clean. That person said they were entiled to a pet, even though proper care, nor love could be given frown Any way if you want to know what i thnk read Kksuns post. i feel its been said.

Last edited by PDM; 08/06/09 06:20 PM.


New pics soon smile
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