thank you, sorry

i have to put in my piece on this.
the poster was obvoiusly disturbd that a knee/jerk reaction ended up in contact wth the bird. to someone who is already remorseful for their action, to hear others tell you what you already know is wrong, will make you even less inclined to continue to try (i lived this for 15yrs and know what it can do to a person) i also agree with the fact that not as long at the best possib everything can be taken care of with positive re-inforcment. we do have to remember that for all that are birds are tiny, they ARE able to REASON why punishment (appropriate punishment) may have to be given. the trick is, to have te animal realise why the punishmenet is occuring) they REASONED that pulling fingers away means they are a step towards being left alone when trying to hand train. the finger doesn't like the open beak... it does not come near... bird thinks... I WIN! and in esscense it HAS won when the finger comes less often an goes away faster because of that action.
hitting is not acceptable and the poster knew that and was looking for some help in righting a RECOGNISED wrong. what is done cannot be undone (i am sure the poster would have done so if able)
many of us here are parents. how many of us have said they would NEVER spank their child? how many of us, at some point (due to whatever circumstances) did spank? and felt hideous for it? were we told to go to anger management (i wasn't and i doubt anyone else was for a first time "spank") the poster did not hit the bird with the intention of teaching it a lesson. the animal was not beaten to the point of abuse.
yes i agree, it will take sme time and patience to bring the bird around again but i am sure it can be done with love and perservence. keep up the work with your bird. if it tries to intimidate, it has to be shown that behaviour is not tolerated. it is now a matter of knowing what to expect and finding a way to show it... that is BENIFICIAL to both parties.
as for giving the bird up to another home... i do not agree, unless the animal's life in in iminent danger( i do not believ it is) myself, i am proud of the poster for asking for help.

You say she still sits on your finger and hangs out on your shoulder. So she still obviously has some degree of trust. What's done is done. Not to say you shouldn't feel guilty about it but personally I think the best thing to do is move on...start over. Just continue to talk sweetly to her and interact. Dully used to bite me all the time and I would just firmly say "no biting sweetie", not loud or mean, just kind of like in a mom's voice so to speak. And she doesn't bite me anymore. We are still training but I think for the most part she knows I'm not a threat. Every bird is different so it may take a while, it may not. Just be as patient with her as possible. You're at her mercy now so I definitely think you have some major sucking up to do!

-Sam

Ok. Let me get my grip here. and get over MY knee jerk reaction.

One thing that will really help you get back in her good graces is to apoagize, over and oover, in a sorrowful tone. My birds know what I'm talking about most of the time, or at least the concept of it.

I'm not going to appolagize to you about my statements. I need to work on My communication skills!! So take THAT, Dinah!!

Yea, it's gonna take some time, but it sounds like she/he loves you and perhaps does not understand what happened. The thing about sorr to her, I do that when I'm late with feeding or bump the cage or etc. She will know what you are saying.

Good luck with this and I'm not really a xx***. Ok. I WILL say sorry, and looking forward to hearing about your progress.

(boy, my spelling-bad. ) In a hurry to get to work!

I am not looking for apology from what anyone has said to me, I am the one apologizing. And thanks, again everyone.

none of us have to appologize for what we believe. it is what makes us all who we are. correcting our mistakes is what makes us better than who we were before

I'm sorry but if you think your birds understand you apologizing to them but don't understand punishment you are certifiable. The bird doesnt understand punishment OR apologies.
And I didn't say you should use ceaser's methods on birds. I said that those of us who are used to redirecting larger animals, example: dogs, sometimes have the knee jerk reaction to tap an animal on the nose when they're being bitten.
Had you read my posts you would have seen that.

This is the reason why I don't frequent this board. There are communities out there where people help each other with their problems without judging and for some reason, no matter how this community evolves, with the exception of a very few people, this has never been one of those communities. This is the place where people post proud pictures of their brand new pets and automatically get 'OMG that cage is way too small, what were you thinking? How horrible are you?' or ask questions about advice gotten from pet stores and the answer is 'How dumb are you? you must be a child believing them.' Now we have an accidental instinctual reaction that caused a problem and REMORSE (the key sign that anger management isn't necessary) and out of three pages of posts 4 of the posters have been attempting to help.

excuse me heather, but this thread has offered ALOT of good solid advice to the poster and everyone has been very respectful and decent.

if you have such issues with the people here why did you log in???

just because someone disagrees with you that means you reject the entire forum and cast people here in such a bad light?

i did read your entire post and i disagree, you arent the only one with a degree here, and not to be offensive but a degree in psychology a dr doesnt make.

i work with animals on a dialy basis, i train them, i evaluate their behavior and determine if they can be worked with or not so possibly my opinion carries so weight? maybe yours does too but no one insulted you.

this person came and admitted they hit their bird, yes they are sorry and feel bad about it, but i will not sugar coat it and say ohh its ok, it was just your knee jerk reaction.

it is NOT OK to hit any animal,in any way, for any reason!!! and specially not a bird!!! slapping a dog isnt going to kill it or injure it for life, but it could very well kill a parakeet instantly or injure it severly.

in fact most times on this forum people say the most ridiculous things and give the most horrible advice and it goes unchecked.

just last week someone was laughing about getting their bird drunk and no one said jack about it, instead they got "aww how sweet"

im sorry you feel so upset by people disagreeing with you in a decent manner but that is not OUR problem.

ShamRock, do you really believe a bird doesn't understand punishment or apologies? I think they do. I know that Levi definitely learned that if he kept pinching my neck, he would have to go back in his cage wit the door closed for a while. "time out" I would give a stern "no bite" if he pinched my neck(because it HURT!) and if he continued to do it I put him back in his cage and again said No bite. He doesn't pinch my neck any more. Not that he doesn't bite at all, but when he does he gets a time out and I KNOW he understands WHY. And as far as apologies, they might not understand it as being an "apology" but they do feel/sense what you are saying by your tone and actions.

I do happen to agree that many people are way to quick to judge here and start critisizing and coming down on someone way to fast and hard sometimes.

rtegge, I hope you don't give your bird(s) away. I think you've learned from your MISTAKE and it won't happen again.At least you were man enough to come here and admit what happened to get advice on how to handle it! Besides if you give her away she'd have to adjust to a whole new home and a whole new human all over again!!!

of course birds understand, parrots are amoung the most intelligent creatures on earth