Lisa, I have often expressed appreciation for PDM, and you, also.

I try to be courteous even to people I dislike. Disagreement is not a reason for me to be discourteous.

I admit my equanimity is challenged, however, when another repeatedly distorts what I say. I try to start with the possibility that we don't understand what the other is saying.

That still may be the case.

The first I became aware of troll behavior was on a romance thread, where a person asked for advice about dating someone 3 or 4 years younger (19 and 15, I think). During the course of the initial post, the person admitted to being a homophobe.

From the tone of the post, I suspected (as I have many times in this romance section) that the topic/post was "invented" in order to start controversy. Behavior which has been termed troll behavior is of this type - where controversy is introduced and then harsh comments are made and then lines are formed and sides taken and usually people leave.

I chose to answer the person seriously. I was the first to reply. I was not discourteous.

The thread then went down hill.

I do understand that a lot of the discussions concerning how & why & even what happened went on in PMs between various ones and you, Lisa, and PDM.

And I do understand that people were banned. But we know that people will come back.

The members who left, however, would not sneak back in. They are just plain gone.

You say they demanded to have their accounts deleted. I'm sure that's right. You say further they wanted to "foul" other members. I think that's an over-simplification, and if not a distortion, at least evidence of how little you understand the members who have long been loyal to this board.

Talking it out might well have allowed the matter to resolve - without people having to leave. There might well be others who use wrong language, but IMO we can not have too many of the people who would adhere to the spirit of tolerance and courtesy.

And I think we've lost some. I do understand that you disagree, since they spoke heatedly with you, and left. But I disagree with you, on this issue, and yet I am still here.

Do you think I am being discourteous with you or PDM?