Lee, something in me is telling me that you do, indeed, need to feel that someone cares, and with whom you can share your being.

I understand that you're stressing on several levels right now.

This is a miscellaneous area, rather than the religious section, but I'm going to tell it like I see it:

I think you are at a crossroads in your life. I've had many, and will probably have more. At that crossroads, you may see or experience something very special in your life, which will convince you that you are special and worthy of your own love, and that God loves you. And that could be through the person of a special one who shows up in your life.

But, while you are at that crossroads, I also have intuition that you may need counseling and support. I encourage you to seek out a non-judgmental, caring professional counselor or spiritual mentor whom you trust - to talk and share.

At the very least, a prayer partner would be good.

I care, and I am concerned for you.